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The One Ring Forums: Tolkien Topics: Reading Room:
"But not an apple!"


Oct 9 2012, 2:20pm

Views: 533
"But not an apple!" [In reply to] Can't Post

Or perhaps Fili was an exception, and the older dwarves had prostate problems? Small wonder Balin was waterlogged, and Thorin came out like a large dog who has been kept in a small kennel!

That's a nice idea, but let me tell you the real reason:
When Aulë first made the Dwarves, he simply forgot this minor detail. He never paid much attention to Biology, and concealed his little project from Yavanna (husbands tend to do this, and always pay for it); therefore, Dwarves had to absorb everything they consumed - and normally die of corpulent indigestion (if they were not violently killed).

Aforetime it was held among the Elves in Middle-earth that dying the Dwarves returned to the earth and the stone of which they were made.

You see, after never seeing any dwarf relieving themselves, the Elves assumed they just cannot be humanoid - as opposed to Orcs, which were bred in mockery of the children of Ilúvatar, and were always having bowel problems.

"Bard is known as someone who forebodes gloomy things like floods and poisoned fish. Floods I can see, but poisoned fish? How and why would Bard forebode poisoned fish? Or is this just a slander against Bard?"
- Curious

The weekly discussion of The Hobbit is back. Join us in the Reading Room for Fire and Water!

Subject User Time
"Not at Home" delayed? Elizabeth Send a private message to Elizabeth Oct 5 2012, 6:39pm
    How bad does it smell in that tunnel? N.E. Brigand Send a private message to N.E. Brigand Oct 7 2012, 3:13am
        Probably as bad as it smelled in the barrels. dernwyn Send a private message to dernwyn Oct 7 2012, 3:24am
            hang on geordie Send a private message to geordie Oct 7 2012, 8:34am
                You're right, that was an earlier occurrance! dernwyn Send a private message to dernwyn Oct 7 2012, 7:17pm
                Life without a loo in LotR? Oh yeah, Shelob baby, shovel it. squire Send a private message to squire Oct 8 2012, 3:08am
                    Now that was a classic thread. dernwyn Send a private message to dernwyn Oct 9 2012, 12:03am
            "But not an apple!" sador Send a private message to sador Oct 9 2012, 2:20pm
                That might explain dernwyn Send a private message to dernwyn Oct 10 2012, 1:36am


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