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AVAST ME HEARTIES! Why be there no "No Talk Like a Pirate Day" thread?


Sep 19 2021, 9:14pm

Views: 285
AVAST ME HEARTIES! Why be there no "No Talk Like a Pirate Day" thread?

Arrr, well do I remember the fine piratey names on this forum in years past. . .

Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrrr!
What did the first mate see down the toilet? The Captains log!
What is a pirates favourite doll? BAAAAARRRRBIE!
What do pirates wear in the winter? Long johns!
What’s a pirates favourite part of a song? The hook!
Why couldn’t the pirates play cards? Because the captain was standing on the deck!
What happens if you take the p out of a pirate? He becomes irate!
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they can spend years at C!
How do pirates know they exist? They think, therefore they ARRRRRRR!!!
A pirate walks into a bar with a big ships wheel down his pants. The bartender says, “Excuse me, sir, but do you know you have a ship’s wheel down the front of your pants? The pirate replies, “Arrrr, it’s driving me nuts!!”


Sep 20 2021, 12:26am

Views: 278
Every day is Talk Like a Pirate Day in Lord of the Rings, of course.

‘Ahoy, me little cap’n!’ he cried, towering over them. ‘Tell me yer plans or I’ll ne’er do naught for ye, eh?’

‘Beds for four, and stabling for five ponies, if that can be managed. Are you Mr. Butterbur?’

‘Nar! Old Butterbutt’s been a-butted one time too many. Jack’s me name, Jack o’ the Rack as they call me. Har, har, har! Ye’re just off the packet from the Shire, are ye?’ he said, and then all a-sudden he stuck a knife into his pegged leg. “Nah, it never helps!’ he growled. ‘Hobbits! What’s it to me, I’ll not recall so easy. Gimme your names, then, or the blade’s for your legs not mine, so ye’ll see.’

‘Mr. Took and Mr. Brandybuck,’ said Frodo; ‘and this is Sam Gamgee. My name is Underhill.’

‘There now!’ said Jack, putting his knife away. ‘Ye’re naught to me, ain’t ye now? I’ve no more time for ye, ‘tis the Devil’s own party aboard right now. I’ll get ye a berth or two before six bells, if I can; if not, ye’ll sleep with the rum-billies in the bilges, seein’ as yer folk’s like wee rats t’ me all the same, eh? Ain’t but it bleeds a little, so it flows red like a spring tide, we say in Bree. Arrrgh!' he added, for effect as it seemed.

Frodo felt himself growing irritated by this raving nonsense.

squire online:
RR Discussions: The Valaquenta, A Shortcut to Mushrooms, and Of Herbs and Stewed Rabbit
Lights! Action! Discuss on the Movie board!: 'A Journey in the Dark'. and 'Designing The Two Towers'.
Archive: All the TORn Reading Room Book Discussions (including the 1st BotR Discussion!) and Footerama: "Tolkien would have LOVED it!"
Dr. Squire introduces the J.R.R. Tolkien Encyclopedia: A Reader's Diary

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Sep 20 2021, 2:57am

Views: 260

I'd forgotten all about it, matey!


Tol Eressea

Sep 20 2021, 3:06am

Views: 260
ARRRRGH...... my excuse is I was watching ROTK extended edition.... which takes a long time as Treebeard would say...

Pirate jokes.... to add to the collection

How do pirates prefer to communicate? Aye to aye!
Where can you find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs? Right where ye left him.
How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheap? He bought it on sail.
Why is pirating so addictive? They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked.
How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook? An arm and a leg.
How do you make a pirate furious? Take away the p.
What’s a pirate’s worst enemy? Termites
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.
Why is pirating so addictive? They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!
What do ye call a pirate with two eyes and two legs? A rookie.
What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet? I, I, R, and the seven C’s!
What’s a pirate’s favorite type of exercise? The plank!
How much did the pirate pay for his earings? A buck-an-ear.
A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man with an eyepatch running around and waving his arms wildly. “Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?” “I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”

Fourth Age Adventures at the Inn of the Burping Troll
Home of Best FanFic stories of 2005 and 2006 "The Last Grey Ship" and "Ashes, East Wind, Hope That Rises" by Erin Rua

(Found in Mathoms, LOTR Tales Untold)


Sep 20 2021, 3:30am

Views: 259
Arrrr matey, that be the ticket! Ye be after me own heart! //


(This post was edited by Tintallë on Sep 20 2021, 3:33am)


Sep 20 2021, 3:32am

Views: 258
Yo ho ho ho hahahahaha! Those be some fine jokes!


Greenwood Hobbit
Tol Eressea

Sep 20 2021, 12:26pm

Views: 241
Shiver me timbers...

I completely forgot!


Sep 20 2021, 1:24pm

Views: 240
Avast! aye tought me favourite part of a sea shanty was the bridge. Yarrgh //