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Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories



Ataahua
Forum Admin / Moderator


Oct 5 2013, 7:22pm


Views: 746
Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories
Why do the Elves keep themselves apart from mortal races?
Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.

Ataahua's stories


DanielLB
Immortal


Oct 5 2013, 7:28pm


Views: 531
Two words:
Miley Cyrus.

That's enough for the Elves to flee in horror.


Brethil
Half-elven


Oct 5 2013, 7:37pm


Views: 523
Elrond on 'twerking'
In Reply To
Miley Cyrus.

That's enough for the Elves to flee in horror.






A picture says a thousand words.
Is there a Tolkien topic that you have wanted to look into more deeply, and write about your thoughts on it? If so, we'd like to hear from you for the next TORn Amateur Symposium- coming in November. Happy writing!

















Otaku-sempai
Immortal


Oct 5 2013, 7:38pm


Views: 485
They don't want their thetans contaminated. //
 
'There are older and fouler things than Orcs in the deep places of the world.' - Gandalf the Grey, The Fellowship of the Ring


Eye's on Guard
Lorien


Oct 5 2013, 8:00pm


Views: 480
They're really embarrassed about the whole "tra-la-la-lally" thing. //
 


Werde Spinner
Rohan


Oct 5 2013, 8:09pm


Views: 492
WIN!
In Reply To
In Reply To
Miley Cyrus.

That's enough for the Elves to flee in horror.
Elrond on 'twerking'

A picture says a thousand words.


I can NOT improve on what has already been done here. *rolls on floor with helpless laughter at the appropriateness of the Elrond picture*
"I had forgotten that. It is hard to be sure of anything among so many marvels. The world is all grown strange. Elf and Dwarf in company walk in our daily fields; and folk speak with the Lady of the Wood and yet live; and the Sword comes back to war that was broken in the long ages ere the fathers of our fathers rode into the Mark! How shall a man judge what to do in such times?"

"As he ever has judged. Good and ill have not changed since yesteryear; nor are they one thing among Elves and Dwarves and another among Men. It is a man's part to discern them, as much in the Golden Wood as in his own house."


Brethil
Half-elven


Oct 5 2013, 8:19pm


Views: 482
TY W-S!!!!!
LaughLaughLaugh
Is there a Tolkien topic that you have wanted to look into more deeply, and write about your thoughts on it? If so, we'd like to hear from you for the next TORn Amateur Symposium- coming in November. Happy writing!

















RosieBaggins
Rivendell


Oct 5 2013, 8:34pm


Views: 477
They owed the dwarves money. Mostly
Also, they have a bit of a feud going on with the ents. They accidentally squashed Uindial the Unfortunate when he was stepped on by Treebeard, so they parted ways with the ents. Frootloop the Forgetful accidentally forgot Tom Bombadil's birthday, which Tom only confided to her. It was her brooch that Tom found in the barrows. So Tom withdrew away from all, thus Tom Bombadil was separated. Elvish necks were designed for looking up at the stars, and when forced to look down too long, they get intolerably sore, so hobbits were out as well. The men were just jerks, and they decided it might be for the best to go their separate ways.
My progress so far on my walk to Rivendell
I have traveled 71 miles
I have passed Buckleberry Ferry.
It is 2 miles to the next landmark.
I have 387 miles until I reach Rivendell.


Ethel Duath
Half-elven


Oct 5 2013, 8:53pm


Views: 469
Too quick to the finish line, before the average human (not to mention dwarf) gets even a toe over the starting line.
Angelic


DwellerInDale
Rohan


Oct 6 2013, 2:12am


Views: 470
It was the Santa Claus thing
Every time they went out in public they were badgered by people with these stupid Christmas Lists, so they decided to just bag it and have no more contact with humans.
Don't mess with my favorite female elf.




cats16
Half-elven


Oct 6 2013, 7:28am


Views: 426
They do not want to know what the fox says. //
 


noWizardme
Half-elven


Oct 6 2013, 8:22pm


Views: 406
Isn't Twerkin the embarrassing relative Thorin decided to leave behind?//
 
Disclaimers: The words of noWizardme may stand on their heads! I'm often wrong about things, and its fun to be taught more....

"nowimė I am in the West, Furincurunir to the Dwarves (or at least, to their best friend) and by other names in other lands. Mostly they just say 'Oh no it's him - look busy!' "
Or "Hold off! unhand me, grey-beard loon!"


noWizardme
Half-elven


Oct 6 2013, 8:27pm


Views: 402
They heard the US gvmt had ground to a halt over "elfcare" and are afraid someone will be down on them to fund the US defecit//
 
Disclaimers: The words of noWizardme may stand on their heads! I'm often wrong about things, and its fun to be taught more....

"nowimė I am in the West, Furincurunir to the Dwarves (or at least, to their best friend) and by other names in other lands. Mostly they just say 'Oh no it's him - look busy!' "
Or "Hold off! unhand me, grey-beard loon!"


noWizardme
Half-elven


Oct 6 2013, 8:47pm


Views: 404
One does not simply Twerk into Mordor…
You'd have to be Thicke to think so.
Mind you, even the Eye of Sauron might look away appalled, giving Frodo and Sam a better chance.
Disclaimers: The words of noWizardme may stand on their heads! I'm often wrong about things, and its fun to be taught more....

"nowimė I am in the West, Furincurunir to the Dwarves (or at least, to their best friend) and by other names in other lands. Mostly they just say 'Oh no it's him - look busy!' "
Or "Hold off! unhand me, grey-beard loon!"


Na Vedui
Rohan


Oct 6 2013, 9:24pm


Views: 426
For reasons of Elf and Safety//


Brethil
Half-elven


Oct 7 2013, 1:11am


Views: 380
Appalled or transfixed? Not sure about Sauron's taste...//
In Reply To
You'd have to be Thicke to think so.
Mind you, even the Eye of Sauron might look away appalled, giving Frodo and Sam a better chance.
Is there a Tolkien topic that you have wanted to look into more deeply, and write about your thoughts on it? If so, we'd like to hear from you for the next TORn Amateur Symposium- coming in November. Happy writing!

















grammaboodawg
Immortal


Oct 7 2013, 1:41am


Views: 376
They can never get their jokes ;) //
 


5th draft of TH:AUJ Geeky Observation List - August 11, 2013
1st draft of TH:DOS Geeky Observation List - August 11, 2013


sample

"There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West."

I'm SO HAPPY these new films take me back to that magical world!!



TIME Google Calendar
TORn's Geeky Observations Lists (updated soon)


Darkstone
Immortal


Oct 7 2013, 11:11pm


Views: 355
Too much danger of Dorwinion wine induced beer goggles. /
 
******************************************
I met a Balrog on the stair,
He had some wings that weren't there.
They weren't there again today,
I wish he would just fly away.
******************************************
I met a Balrog on the stair,
He had some wings that weren't there.
They weren't there again today,
I wish he would just fly away.

(This post was edited by Darkstone on Oct 7 2013, 11:14pm)


Darkstone
Immortal


Oct 7 2013, 11:15pm


Views: 350
Holding in their stomachs all the time was exhausting. /
 
******************************************
I met a Balrog on the stair,
He had some wings that weren't there.
They weren't there again today,
I wish he would just fly away.


Darkstone
Immortal


Oct 7 2013, 11:23pm


Views: 361
They didn't want to have to change all the historical references to "The Last Alliance".
I mean, what if elves showed up to a battle like, say, at Helm's Deep? Then they'd have to change all the books and scrolls and songs to say "The Next-to-Last Alliance"!
******************************************
I met a Balrog on the stair,
He had some wings that weren't there.
They weren't there again today,
I wish he would just fly away.


CuriousG
Half-elven


Oct 8 2013, 12:46am


Views: 340
LOL!!! //
 


Brethil
Half-elven


Oct 8 2013, 1:49am


Views: 336
One in every family. Take Teleporno for example... //
In Reply To
Isn't Twerkin the embarrassing relative Thorin decided to leave behind?//
Is there a Tolkien topic that you have wanted to look into more deeply, and write about your thoughts on it? If so, we'd like to hear from you for the next TORn Amateur Symposium- coming in November. Happy writing!

















Meneldor
Valinor


Oct 8 2013, 3:26pm


Views: 331
They only come out
when they're having good hair days.

They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters; These see the works of the Lord, and His wonders in the deep.


sador
Half-elven


Oct 9 2013, 5:53am


Views: 315
Why do you say so?
They do like horses. Aren't horses mortal?
It's just the Yahoos they don't like - like good ol' Lemuel, once he made the comparison.


Tintallė
Gondor


Oct 9 2013, 4:56pm


Views: 301
Hahaha! Brilliant! //
 


Werde Spinner
Rohan


Oct 11 2013, 8:02pm


Views: 231
Oh, great!
They do not want to know what the fox says.
In Reply To

I saw a meme using a screencap of that music video and wondered what it was about. I then made the monumentally stupid decision of googling the video and watching it for myself. Crazy Now I'm going to have that tune running in my mind for the rest of the day... gah...

Is it just me, or does YouTube every so often have a 'stupid music video frenzy'? Because it's approaching 'Gangnam Style'.

On second thoughts, the Elves keep their distance from mortals to avoid the music videos!!! Laugh
"I had forgotten that. It is hard to be sure of anything among so many marvels. The world is all grown strange. Elf and Dwarf in company walk in our daily fields; and folk speak with the Lady of the Wood and yet live; and the Sword comes back to war that was broken in the long ages ere the fathers of our fathers rode into the Mark! How shall a man judge what to do in such times?"

"As he ever has judged. Good and ill have not changed since yesteryear; nor are they one thing among Elves and Dwarves and another among Men. It is a man's part to discern them, as much in the Golden Wood as in his own house."