Sep 24 2013, 5:07pm
The Tolkienia Times Headline Contest will choose a (funniest? oddest?) headline for the next edition of the Times, a month from today. The winner can also come up with a brief story to go with it when it's published, or our Managing Editor (Brethil) or one of our reporters can write the story based on the selected headline.
"The New Tolkienia Times, and a headline contest!"
Without further ado, enjoy The Times!
The Official Daily Newspaper of Tolkienia
________________________September 24, 2013_____________________________
Tolkienia Becomes a Nation
Making both world and local headlines, fans of the literary world-maker J.R.R. Tolkien boldly followed in their favorite author's footsteps, and took the first step in creating their own bit of Middle-earth on Earth by incorporating themselves into a nation based on the blueprints of the writings of Tolkien. Appropriately named 'Tolkienia', it will incorporate aspects of... (con't p 2)
The World Responds
A flurry of international attention has been created. Among the first of world leaders to comment, United States President Barack Obama said this: "I applaud the move for independent expression of values, and am impressed by their courage. Also, as soon as I can I plan to visit the new nation, for a Green Summit, in something called a flet..." (con't p 6)
Museum Construction Holdup: Second Call for Bids
As the plans of the Tolkienia Town Square have just been released to the public, the space reserved for the Entwife Museum is not noted to have a current project plan on file. Hopes of a genuine Dwarven contractor were dashed when it was found to be merely an Internet hoax with a photoshopped ID card attached to the proposal... (con't p4)
Tolkienia Politics: Rumors About Upcoming Election
Quoting unnamed sources, who spoke only with guarantees of anonymity and a pint, indicated that there is really only one candidate for the office of Mayor, called 'a veritable shoo-in', naming Ethel ... (con't p 3)
Classifieds: See page 12
This weeks job ads: Barista/o, Gimli's Grinds: F/T days, must make *strong* coffee. Braid Emporium, braider needed, must understand Khudzul forms. Farrier needed, apply Westfarthing Stables; must work well with talking horses. Town Poets needed, specializing in Dwarven themed verse - schedule: eh, whenever. Gardener/bodyguards and rock wrestlers needed, see Shire Jobs Limited Listings. Gifted Parody Writer needed ASAP: contact Theoden's Thespian's at the Hornburg Theater . . . .
And don't forget to scan our Mathom Pages (p 13) to see if there are any trades or purchases you would like to make!
Our Tolkienia Weather:
65f [inline Resized-2PFLR.jpg]
Look for balmy, sunny skies 65 degrees Fahrenheit and only scattered clouds at dusk today. If you want to know more, you have to buy Daniel lunch.
*By the Free People, for the Free People* The Tolkienia Times TIMES.JRRT
Is there a Tolkien topic that you have wanted to look into more deeply, and write about your thoughts on it? If so, we'd like to hear from you for the next TORn Amateur Symposium- coming in November. Happy writing!