The One Ring Forums: Tolkien Topics: Main: Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories

The One Ring Forums: Tolkien Topics: Main:
Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories

Ataahua
Forum Admin / Moderator

Nov 27 2010, 7:24pm

Views: 9705

Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories

What was the real reason that Galadriel and Celeborn wanted no visitors in Lothlorien?

Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."

"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded b*****d with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.

Ataahua's stories

Darkstone
Immortal

Nov 27 2010, 9:46pm

Views: 5336

It was the maid's millenium off so the forest was a mess. /

******************************************
I met a Balrog on the stair.
He had some wings that weren't there.
They weren't there again today.
I wish he would just fly away.

grammaboodawg
Immortal

Nov 27 2010, 10:24pm

Views: 5138

Visitors get so comfy, the never wanna leave! //

I really need these new films to take me back to, and not re-introduce me to, that magical world.

TORn's Observations Lists
Unused Scenes

Gimli'sBox
Gondor

Nov 27 2010, 10:47pm

Views: 5072

They needed a lot of time to curl/straighten their hair.//

Roast chicken?!

You're taller. Who? You. Then what? Then me! I've always been taller than you. Pippin, everyone knows you're the short one. I'm the tall one. Please Merry. Your what? Three foot six at the most. Whereas I'm pushing three seven. Three eight! Three foot eight! You did something.

It's Latin. Loosely translated, it means... we cheat.

"Strange treasures in this fair world appear, strange all, and new to me." That is a poem by Thomas Traherne and I have absolutely no idea what it's about. But, when I was small I was made to learn it by heart so I don't see why you shouldn't suffer too.

Wraith Buster
Gondor

Nov 27 2010, 10:54pm

Views: 4990

They didn't want anyone to know they had bad moods too!//

I do believe if our honorable friend continues to scrape the bottom of the barrel for objections he is in danger of getting splinters under his fingernails.

Ethel Duath
Half-elven

Nov 27 2010, 11:09pm

Views: 5066

The flet contractor left tire tracks all over Cerin Amroth//

TheNazgul
Rivendell

Nov 28 2010, 2:10am

Views: 5194

The last time they had a visitor thier wedding got crashed//

P.S wraith buster don't bust me i have hobbits to stab!!

Rest in peace Ronnie

(This post was edited by TheNazgul on Nov 28 2010, 2:11am)

Gimli'sBox
Gondor

Nov 28 2010, 4:09am

Views: 5131

Oh that's GREAT!!!!!!!//

Eowyn of Penns Woods
Valinor

Nov 28 2010, 4:15am

Views: 5124

O, hai!

Which foul dwimmerlaik are you? *smiles sweetly*

**********************************

NARF
NABOUF
Not a TORns*b!
Certified Curmudgeon

TolkienOtaku
Rivendell

Nov 28 2010, 6:25pm

Views: 5070

Let's just say they needed a lot of alone time.

Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean?

So many are still waiting for their new beginning. Their birth by sleep. Even me, and even you.

SirDennisC
Half-elven

Nov 28 2010, 11:06pm

Views: 5043

The lights:

one visitor who knows a hydroponic lamp when they see one and it's game over.

(This post was edited by SirDennisC on Nov 28 2010, 11:07pm)

Wraith Buster
Gondor

Nov 28 2010, 11:44pm

Views: 5056

"I will kill you if you touch them!!!"

In Reply To

P.S wraith buster don't bust me i have hobbits to stab!!

"You fool! No man can kill me. Die now!"
"I am no man!"

There's something strange and it don't look good! Who you gonna call? Wraith Buster!!

I do believe if our honorable friend continues to scrape the bottom of the barrel for objections he is in danger of getting splinters under his fingernails.

sador
Half-elven

Nov 29 2010, 7:18am

Views: 5011

Wikileaks journalists might uncover what really happened to Amroth. //

"Welcome, and well met!" - Gloin.

The weekly discussion of The Lord of the Rings is back! Please join us in the Reading Room.

"Caras Galadhon is actually a fortress... I guess I always imagined it as more of a nice garden with lots of trees. But someone put some serious thought into defending that garden."
- Altaira.

Disa
The Shire

Nov 29 2010, 7:49am

Views: 5037

They have Jimmy Hoffa.

And they're holding him indefinitely. The LoTR group were in a hurry, so there was no threat of discovery there. Galadriel is also known as Goldie the Gun, the Leader of the Elvish Mob. Her main cohort and consort Lord Celeborn, aka The Leaf Hacker, are shacked up in the woods, surrounded by their most loyal gang members in a last ditch effort to prevent the Middle Earth Brotherhood of Teamsters lead by Saruon himself, from takin' over the joint. They're armed with the latest magical wards and booby traps ("That's what I said! Setting booty traps!") in the remotest part of Lothlórien. Heart

Dwarrows forever!

.Ithilwen.
Rivendell

Nov 29 2010, 3:43pm

Views: 4983

They don't want the stalker fan paparazzi sneaking in and getting all the dirt on Galadriel's new match-maker reality show for Bravo... Her star alums being Aragorn and Arwen

(This post was edited by .Ithilwen. on Nov 29 2010, 3:51pm)

Eruonen
Half-elven

Nov 29 2010, 5:29pm

Views: 4906

Lack of sewage....I am sure elves had little to no bio waste and they

did not like such messes underfoot spoiling the
golden leaves and fouling their streams. It is hard to imagine Galadriel sitting on a chamber pot or over a hole in the ground....if she did...it probably was a perfumed passage...nothing foul out of her.

TheGoblinKing
Rohan

Nov 29 2010, 7:53pm

Views: 5060

The Elves Fear Aragorn

The Elf men fear Strider for all Elvish women fall in love and not even Galadrial couldn't resist him and she was hoping Strider would come. It was Frodo who came so she turned evil for a second.

And also Mirkwood Elves have bad Gas and make the leaves fall off the Trees.

Also Boromir was known for Throwing parties and Spiked the water and Elves cannot hold there own againt's Gondor wine.

Darkstone
Immortal

Nov 30 2010, 1:48am

Views: 4943

Life insurance salesmen literally flocked to Lothlorien. /

******************************************
I met a Balrog on the stair.
He had some wings that weren't there.
They weren't there again today.
I wish he would just fly away.

jacf182
Registered User

Nov 30 2010, 8:56pm

Views: 4720

They were avoiding at all costs

Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga's agents to consider Lothlorien as a possible location for concerts.

Wielder of the Flame of Anor

ABody
Registered User

Dec 1 2010, 2:08am

Views: 4727

Their processing heavy water and plutonium

Idril Celebrindal
Tol Eressea

Dec 1 2010, 4:48pm

Views: 4710

10,000 years' worth of old newspapers and takeout containers are piled up everywhere! //

With caffeine, all things are possible.

The pity of Bilbo will screw up the fate of many.

Idril Celebrindal
Tol Eressea

Dec 1 2010, 4:49pm

Views: 4638

Celeborn never got around to fixing that little problem with the plumbing .... //

With caffeine, all things are possible.

The pity of Bilbo will screw up the fate of many.

Arwen's daughter
Half-elven

Dec 1 2010, 7:00pm

Views: 4668

They weren't allowed to admit tourists ever since that lawsuit caused by their lack of railings. //

My LiveJournal
My Costuming Site
TORn's Costume Discussions Archive
The Screencap of the Day Schedule for November

StarElf
Rohan

Dec 5 2010, 8:02pm

Views: 4690

It was Because

Lothlorien was really Middle Earth's Area 51. They were still hiding the spaceships and the bodies of dead aliens, along with all their fancy new Elvish technology, and disguising it to look like actual trees.

(This post was edited by StarElf on Dec 5 2010, 8:08pm)

Darkstone
Immortal

Dec 6 2010, 12:23am

Views: 4585

It was a big hassle gluing the ears on. /

******************************************
I met a Balrog on the stair.
He had some wings that weren't there.
They weren't there again today.
I wish he would just fly away.

Ataahua
Forum Admin / Moderator

Dec 11 2010, 6:19pm

Views: 1048

MORE Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories

So why was the Lonely Mountain so lonely?

(Forgot to add that this conspiracy theory was the brainchild of SirDennisC. Sorry SirD!)

Ataahua
Forum Admin / Moderator

Dec 11 2010, 7:04pm

Views: 1022

Because saying "I love you" with lava proved spectacularly unsuccessful. /

sador
Half-elven

Dec 12 2010, 2:50am

Views: 976

It had an opaque, cold and hard heart, which brought out the worst in everyone. //

"Welcome, and well met!" - Gloin.

The weekly discussion of The Lord of the Rings is back! Please join us in the Reading Room.

"No one seems to be in much of a hurry. Can you imagine Sean Bean, Orlando Bloom, and Viggo Mortensen just sitting in the boats without paddling?"
- Entwife Wandlimb.

batik
Tol Eressea

Dec 12 2010, 2:55am

Views: 974

clearly the nearness of grey smog and mirk did not facilitate the forging of friendships//

Oiotári
Tol Eressea

Dec 12 2010, 3:14am

Views: 922

No one would talk to the poor mountain

everyone just wanted to use it for a living space and never even bothered to say "thank you"

The wide world is all about you:
you can fence yourselves in, but you cannot for ever fence it out

You can only come to the morning through the shadows

SirDennisC
Half-elven

Dec 12 2010, 3:34am

Views: 1000

It had dragon breath. //

Darkstone
Immortal

Dec 12 2010, 7:26am

Views: 993

It used to be Twin Peaks. /

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Not all who wander are lost.

(But that's the way to bet.)

Darkstone
Immortal

Dec 12 2010, 7:28am

Views: 966

Once the little boulders rolled down the hill they never wrote home. /

******************************************
Not all who wander are lost.

(But that's the way to bet.)

Kyriel
Forum Admin / Moderator

Dec 12 2010, 12:29pm

Views: 950

All of the other mountains used to laugh and call it names...

They never let poor Lonely join in any mountain games. Wink

Those left standing will make millions writing books on the way it should have been. --Incubus

grammaboodawg
Immortal

Dec 12 2010, 2:03pm

Views: 972

Indigestion from a fire in its belly, no one could stand the resulting gas //

I really need these new films to take me back to, and not re-introduce me to, that magical world.

TORn's Observations Lists
Unused Scenes

SirDennisC
Half-elven

Dec 12 2010, 10:06pm

Views: 996

Brokeback Mountain hadn't written in years.

challenge failed

Alassëa Eruvande
Valinor

Dec 13 2010, 3:04pm

Views: 960

Aaah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

If I had been drinking coffee, it would have spewed. Laugh

And suddenly the Tornadoes saw afar off a greenlight, as it were a cloud with a living heart of flame;
and they knew that this was no vision only, but that PJ had made a new thing: The Hobbit, the Film that Is.

macfalk
Valinor

Dec 16 2010, 4:39pm

Views: 987

Because Galadriel wanted to eat candy instead. //

The greatest adventure is what lies ahead.

ltnjmy
Rivendell

Dec 17 2010, 10:38pm

Views: 941

This is so very funny - Why the Lonely Mountain was so Lonely !

GREAT thread and postings. Thanks for the joy ! Wink