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Ataahua
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Feb 9 2013, 10:48pm
Post #1 of 45
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Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories
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What is the real reason for the distrust between Elves and Dwarves?
Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."
"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.
Ataahua's stories
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Radagast-Aiwendil
Gondor
Feb 9 2013, 10:49pm
Post #2 of 45
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The Dwarves stole King Thingol's cookie jar!//
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"These are Gundabad Wargs! They will outrun you!"
"THESE are Rhosgobel Rabbits! I'd like to see them try...."
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Aragalen the Green
Gondor
Feb 9 2013, 11:14pm
Post #3 of 45
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The Elves are taller and hide things out of reach of the Dwarves? //
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'"Never laugh at live dragons, Bilbo you fool!" he said to himself, and it became a favourite saying of his later, and passed into a proverb.'
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Otaku-sempai
Immortal
Feb 9 2013, 11:29pm
Post #4 of 45
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You can't trust folk who can't grow a proper beard!
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And that would rather live in trees than in the earth.
'There are older and fouler things than Orcs in the deep places of the world.' - Gandalf the Grey, The Fellowship of the Ring
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CuriousG
Half-elven
Feb 9 2013, 11:57pm
Post #5 of 45
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Elves are from Venus, Dwarves are from Mars
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Or maybe Elves are cat-lovers and Dwarves are dog-lovers.
But the secret truth is that they love each other very much, but Sauron has planted spies and agents even on the internet to spread conspiracy theories that they don't like each other. His arm has grown long; he has cookies on every computer.
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Eye's on Guard
Lorien
Feb 10 2013, 12:06am
Post #6 of 45
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The Elves referred to the Seven Fathers with insulting nicknames (e.g. - "Doc" for Durin I)
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Movie trivia: Ages later, the names were used by Disney in the first feature-length animated film 
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Eowyn3
Rivendell
Feb 10 2013, 12:32am
Post #7 of 45
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The Dwarves were very bad house guests
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at Thingol's halls. They threw his dishes around and eat all his food. And Melian didn't like their singing!
" He has just as much reason to go to war as you do. Why can he not fight for those he loves?"
(This post was edited by Eowyn3 on Feb 10 2013, 12:36am)
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CuriousG
Half-elven
Feb 10 2013, 12:57am
Post #8 of 45
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Why didn't hobbits and Dwarves end up as enemies after that incident at Bag End? Harrumph
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Eowyn3
Rivendell
Feb 10 2013, 1:02am
Post #9 of 45
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Maybe Hobbits are more easy going
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than First Age Elven Kings?
" He has just as much reason to go to war as you do. Why can he not fight for those he loves?"
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The White Wizard
The Shire
Feb 10 2013, 1:09am
Post #10 of 45
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I think that is something almost any one could agree to.
True courage is about knowing not when to take a life, but when to spare one.
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ryouko
Lorien
Feb 10 2013, 1:27am
Post #12 of 45
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"Tastes Great!"
"Less Filling!"
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Ruxendil_Thoorg
Tol Eressea
Feb 10 2013, 2:29am
Post #13 of 45
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i was SO close to going with that one!
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Maybe we have similarly-weird brains....whoops! I meant similarly-wired brains
I also toyed with: the debate over who was funnier, Abbot or Costello, and with something about the Star-on machine and comparing the Elves and Dwarves to the star-belly and plain-belly Sneetches.  . Not sure why I went with Oreos.
A bag is like a hole that you can carry with you.
http://newboards.theonering.net/...forum_view_expanded;
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ryouko
Lorien
Feb 10 2013, 2:49am
Post #14 of 45
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I always proudly admit that I'm weird.
And why do you question the Oreos? I thought that was a good one!
Another theory could be "Team Edward" "Team Jacob".
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SirDennisC
Half-elven
Feb 10 2013, 3:08am
Post #15 of 45
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Dwarf: That key you've had no right to keep for so long (and that I have no idea what to do with) should have come to me!
Elf: This famous blade belonging to my kin (and that you found by chance) was made by my ancestors. May it serve you well.
Wait, these are supposed to be funny.
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Ruxendil_Thoorg
Tol Eressea
Feb 10 2013, 4:48am
Post #16 of 45
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Not really questioning the Oreos so much as questioning the randomness that went into going with Oreos rather than, say, the Sneetches for example. But thanks for liking it
Team Edward v Team Jacob would have worked....but all the same I'm glad you went with the beer reference instead.  . Kirk/Picard would be another one.
A bag is like a hole that you can carry with you.
http://newboards.theonering.net/...forum_view_expanded;
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Arandiel
Grey Havens
Feb 10 2013, 5:13am
Post #17 of 45
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How well do Ravenclaws and Gryffindors really trust each other, anyway?//
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Walk to Rivendell: There and Back Again Challenge - traveling through Middle Earth with thirteen rowdy Dwarves, one grumpy Wizard, and a beleaguered Hobbit
Join us, Thursdays on Main!
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Arandiel
Grey Havens
Feb 10 2013, 5:16am
Post #18 of 45
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"No fair! You only gave US three rings!//
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Walk to Rivendell: There and Back Again Challenge - traveling through Middle Earth with thirteen rowdy Dwarves, one grumpy Wizard, and a beleaguered Hobbit
Join us, Thursdays on Main!
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zarabia
Tol Eressea
Feb 10 2013, 6:05am
Post #19 of 45
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It all started with first introductions
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One of the Elves, upon being introduced to a Dwarf, made the faux pas of saying. "Oh, no need to get up" before realizing his mistake. Dwarves began snarking such things as, "How's the weather up there?" It soon descended into name calling..."beardy-weirdy" and "fancy-pants" flying back and forth. It got pretty ugly after that. 
"The question isn't where, Constable, but when." - Inspector Spacetime
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zarabia
Tol Eressea
Feb 10 2013, 6:11am
Post #20 of 45
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Elves prefer Letterman, Dwarves like Leno. Or maybe a Beatles/Rolling Stones thing?
BTW, like the Sneeches idea; I had forgotten them.
"The question isn't where, Constable, but when." - Inspector Spacetime
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Roheryn
Tol Eressea
Feb 10 2013, 8:40am
Post #21 of 45
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For ages, every time the dwarves and elves get together for some big shin-dig, the elves keep trying to trick the dwarves into bathing in huge tubs with fluffy mounds of strawberry bubble bath. Not only does this make the dwarves mad because they're convinced the bubble bath will do something unspeakable to their hair, but they also never bathe more than once a year anyways, whether they need it or not. For their part, during those same shin-digs, the dwarves have been trying to sneak red meat (or was it ripe?) into every elvish dish they can. The elves, as vegans, naturally take great offense at finding sausages sticking out underneath the salad greens.
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ryouko
Lorien
Feb 10 2013, 1:05pm
Post #22 of 45
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Since both sides like their ale, it is more fitting.
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Ruxendil_Thoorg
Tol Eressea
Feb 10 2013, 2:06pm
Post #24 of 45
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"Oh, no need to get up" lol :D
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In honor of your post, I'll suggest a few more if I may:
Upon being introduced to each other, the Elves presented the Dwarves with a gift that was meant to break the ice and kickstart diplomatic relations: An illuminated leatherbound vellum 1st edition of The Arts of Mining, Metalworks and Weaponsmithing for Dummies.
The Dwarves, in turn, presented the Elves with an ancient spell for "enhancing" their mirrors, so that they could try out different styles of beard and other facial hair in their reflections. (Cirdan loved his.)
****
"I couldn't help noticing that handsome portrait in that locket you are holding. Would that be your son?"
"That would be me WIFE."
****
"Legend of the enchantments of Elvenkind have preceded you. Just how you manage to bake all those delicious cookies on-premises, without burning the tree down, is WONDEROUS!"
A bag is like a hole that you can carry with you.
http://newboards.theonering.net/...forum_view_expanded;
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