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Roheryn
Tol Eressea
Feb 7 2013, 9:03am
Post #1 of 54
(2124 views)
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Enough of the silliness -- time for something a bit more serious.
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A pants thread! If we've done this already, I missed it. Thanks, Arandiel, for the nudge. Bilbo: “There was the city of Dale, its pants stretched far and wide, full of the bounties of vine and vale, crease-full and ponderous. For these pants lay before the doors of the greatest wardrobe in Middle-earth: Erebor. Stronghold of Thror, King under-Pants, mightiest of the dwarf lords.” Balin: “You forget: the front zipper is sealed. There is no way into the pants.” Balin: “I wouldn’t bother, laddie. Pants are named for the great deeds they do in bed.” Thorin: “Our underwear is no concern of elves.” Gandalf: “For goodness sake, Thorin, show him your pants!” Thorin: “They are the legacy of my people; they are mine to protect, as are their secrets.” Elrond: “So this is your purpose, to enter the Pants.” Thorin: “Master Baggins, I suggest you keep your pants up.” ********* Your turns!
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little mouse
Rivendell
Feb 7 2013, 9:24am
Post #2 of 54
(1303 views)
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His armor rent wielding nothing but an oaken pants as a shield
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jtarkey
Rohan
Feb 7 2013, 10:26am
Post #3 of 54
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"What have I got in my pocket....
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PSYCH! I'm not wearing pants"
"You're love of the halflings leaf has clearly slowed your mind"
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peace1993
Bree
Feb 7 2013, 11:04am
Post #4 of 54
(1221 views)
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Perhaps it is because he has a nice pair of pants.
Sam: Trust a Brandybuck and a Took. Merry: What? That was just a detour, a shortcut. Sam: Shortcut to what? Pippin: Mushrooms!
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Oin's parasite
Rivendell
Feb 7 2013, 12:08pm
Post #5 of 54
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"Lay down your pants! Or we rip his off!"
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"I've got parasites as big as my arm!"
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jtarkey
Rohan
Feb 7 2013, 12:12pm
Post #6 of 54
(1164 views)
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Here's another... "Did you know that your great-great-great uncle Bullroarer Took was so large he could wear a size 30? Well he could!"
"You're love of the halflings leaf has clearly slowed your mind"
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Aranaes
Rivendell
Feb 7 2013, 12:15pm
Post #7 of 54
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.....had sworn to wipe out the line of Durin. He began by removing the King's pants.
'And I name you elf-friend and blessed. May your shadow never grow less (or stealing would be too easy)!'
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Kirly
Lorien
Feb 7 2013, 12:19pm
Post #8 of 54
(1168 views)
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Fili: Kili! Give me your pants! //
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My avatar photo is Lake Tekapo in New Zealand's South Island. Taken by me in 2004 on a Red Carpet Tours LOTR Movie Location Tour. 'Twas the Vacation of a Lifetime! pictures taken while on the tour are here: https://picasaweb.google.com/Kirly7/LOTRNewZealandTour#
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Aranaes
Rivendell
Feb 7 2013, 12:23pm
Post #9 of 54
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"These were forged in Gondolin, by the High Elves of the First Age. You could not wish for finer pants"//
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'And I name you elf-friend and blessed. May your shadow never grow less (or stealing would be too easy)!'
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peace1993
Bree
Feb 7 2013, 12:52pm
Post #10 of 54
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Bilbo: “No, no, wait, wait, stop! Stop! We have to turn around.”
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Gandalf: “What on earth is the matter?” Bilbo: “I forgot my pants.” Bofur: “Here! Use this.” Thorin: "Move on!"
Sam: Trust a Brandybuck and a Took. Merry: What? That was just a detour, a shortcut. Sam: Shortcut to what? Pippin: Mushrooms!
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BoromirOfWinterfell
Rohan
Feb 7 2013, 2:05pm
Post #11 of 54
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I will take each and everyone one of these shorts over the mightiest trousers. Durability, 100 percent cotton and enough room. I can ask no more than that.
Þæs ofereode, þisses swa mæg - that has passed, so may this.
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Aranaes
Rivendell
Feb 7 2013, 2:28pm
Post #12 of 54
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Strange for orcs to come so close to our pants. Something or someone has drawn them near. //
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'And I name you elf-friend and blessed. May your shadow never grow less (or stealing would be too easy)!'
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Aranaes
Rivendell
Feb 7 2013, 2:34pm
Post #13 of 54
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Goblin King: Send word to the pale orc, tell him I have found his pants, they were lodged in my crevice! //
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'And I name you elf-friend and blessed. May your shadow never grow less (or stealing would be too easy)!'
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Aranaes
Rivendell
Feb 7 2013, 2:40pm
Post #14 of 54
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Last one from me - Azog: Do you smell it? The scent of panties. I remember your father reeked pants, Thorin son of Thrain //
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'And I name you elf-friend and blessed. May your shadow never grow less (or stealing would be too easy)!'
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stoutfiles
Rohan
Feb 7 2013, 2:56pm
Post #15 of 54
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Aragorn: “If by my life or death I can protect you, I will. You have my sword." Legolas: "And you have my bow." Gimli: "And MY PANTS!”
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Brethil
Half-elven
Feb 7 2013, 3:16pm
Post #16 of 54
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"Lindir, be a good Figwit and lay out my purple silk boxers. The ones with the sparkly white stars. So comfy for dinner. Oh, and while you are at it bring these Dwarves some Febreze and a lint roller."
...she took the point at once, but she also took the spoons.
(This post was edited by Brethil on Feb 7 2013, 3:17pm)
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Oin's parasite
Rivendell
Feb 7 2013, 3:24pm
Post #17 of 54
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Bofur: "Pants! Giant pants!" Thorin: "What in Durin's pants are going on?" Gandalf: "You are being pantsed!" Galadriel: "If ever you need my pants..." Dwalin: Which way laddy? Is it down here? He said there would be pants, and lots of em'." Balin: "Thrain, Thorins's father was driven mad by pants, taken prisoner or killed; we did not know. We were pantless..." Bilbo: "Thrór's pants ruled with utter surety. Never doubting his pants would endure. For his pants laid secure in the hands of his son, and grandson." Bilbo: " Ah Frodo...pants."
"I've got parasites as big as my arm!"
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Alassëa Eruvande
Valinor
Feb 7 2013, 3:28pm
Post #18 of 54
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In a hole in the pants there lived a hobbit.
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Not nasty, dirty, wet pants, filled with the ends of threads and an oozy smell, nor yet dry, bare, sandy pants: it was hobbit-pants, and that means comfort waistband.
I am SMAUG! I kill when I wish! I am strong, strong, STRONG! My armor is like tenfold shields! My teeth like swords! My claws, spears! The shock of my tail, a thunderbolt! My wings, a hurricane! And my breath, death!
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Brethil
Half-elven
Feb 7 2013, 3:49pm
Post #19 of 54
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Bifur to gandalf: "Ky kur Em-panada!" (Ah, here we know, at last, Thorin's secret Dwarf-name: Spicy-bottom Meat Pocket.) Gandalf "Yes Bifur. We appear to be one pair of pants short." Dwalin: "He is late is all. He cannot run with his pants down. He was at a pantsing of our kin. He will come."
...she took the point at once, but she also took the spoons.
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xMb
The Shire
Feb 7 2013, 3:56pm
Post #20 of 54
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I don't know why but I can't stop laughing at this
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Brethil
Half-elven
Feb 7 2013, 4:01pm
Post #21 of 54
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"Lost my pants twice. Think the elastic is gone. Didin't help that some woman with TORn written on her bodice keeps yanking them down."
...she took the point at once, but she also took the spoons.
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Aragalen the Green
Gondor
Feb 7 2013, 4:01pm
Post #22 of 54
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Gandalf presents Bilbo with Pants
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Gandalf: "Here Bilbo, these are about your size" Bilbo: "I can't take these" Gandalf: "The pants are of Elvish make. They will glow blue when orcs or goblins are nearby" Bilbo: " I've never worn pants in my life" Gandalf: "And I hope you never have to. But if you do, true courage is not when to wear pants, but when to have a spare pair".
'"Never laugh at live dragons, Bilbo you fool!" he said to himself, and it became a favourite saying of his later, and passed into a proverb.'
(This post was edited by Aragalen the Green on Feb 7 2013, 4:07pm)
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Eleniel
Tol Eressea
Feb 7 2013, 4:54pm
Post #23 of 54
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"Bert and Tom went off to the barrel....
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William was having another drink. Then Bilbo plucked up courage and put his little hand in William's enormous pants."
"Choosing Trust over Doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." ¯ Victoria Monfort
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Old Toby
Grey Havens
Feb 7 2013, 5:31pm
Post #24 of 54
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"If we have worn these pants, do you not think others have worn them too? Eyes look East to the mountain - assessing, weighing. Do we stand back while others take what pants are rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back our pants? To Pants! To Pants!"
"Age is always advancing and I'm fairly sure it's up to no good." Harry Dresden (Jim Butcher)
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Aragalen the Green
Gondor
Feb 7 2013, 5:42pm
Post #25 of 54
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These are Gundabad pants! They will outrun you! These are Rhosgobel trousers!...I'd like to see them try //
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'"Never laugh at live dragons, Bilbo you fool!" he said to himself, and it became a favourite saying of his later, and passed into a proverb.'
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cats16
Half-elven
Feb 7 2013, 6:10pm
Post #26 of 54
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there is a Necropantser living in Dol Zippor." "Balin, you know these pants. Lead the way." "I am quite good with Dockers, if you must know."
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Kirly
Lorien
Feb 7 2013, 6:33pm
Post #27 of 54
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speaking of room in trousers.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13-Rqjt5kwg the commercial cracks me up! oh, they have something for that too... http://www.youtube.com/...aC7RSk5o&index=3 i don't know who created these commercials but they are hilarious!
My avatar photo is Lake Tekapo in New Zealand's South Island. Taken by me in 2004 on a Red Carpet Tours LOTR Movie Location Tour. 'Twas the Vacation of a Lifetime! pictures taken while on the tour are here: https://picasaweb.google.com/Kirly7/LOTRNewZealandTour#
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GloryBox
Bree
Feb 7 2013, 7:31pm
Post #28 of 54
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"For a dragon will guard his pants as long as he lives"
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"Robbed of their pants, the dwarves of Erebor wandered the wilderness, a once mighty people brought low." "Thranduil would not risk the pants of his kin against the pants of the dragon. No pants came from the elves that day, or any day since." "She had all my pants stuffed in her pockets. Hah ! Dreadful woman!"
...one morning long ago in the quiet of the world, when there was less noise and more green... The Hobbit
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Kimtc
Rohan
Feb 7 2013, 7:42pm
Post #29 of 54
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"Lost my pants twice. Think the elastic is gone. Didin't help that some woman with TORn written on her bodice keeps yanking them down."
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L. Ron Halfelven
Grey Havens
Feb 7 2013, 7:43pm
Post #30 of 54
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We must away ere break of day, to seek our long-forgotten pants.//
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"123456!... password!... password1!... password2!... Gimli, do you know Durin's date of birth? Thanks. 140457!... mithril@!... mithril#!... maltbeer!... qwerty!... Legolas, do your elf eyes see any post-its lying around the base of the cliff?"
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Kimtc
Rohan
Feb 7 2013, 7:52pm
Post #31 of 54
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Balin: "You have built a new life for us in the Blue Mountains, a life of peace and plenty. A life that is worth more than all the pants in Erebor." Thorin: "From my grandfather to my father, these pants have come to me. They dreamt of the day when the dwarves of Erebor would reclaim all their pants. There is no choice Balin, not for me." Balin: "Then we are with you, laddie. Pantsless though we are, we will see it done." Bilbo: "For God's sake, just borrow some of mine! And stop walking around my home pantsless!"
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SirDennisC
Half-elven
Feb 7 2013, 7:52pm
Post #32 of 54
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"... the pants were smaller, and more silent; also this time there were no trolls." //
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SirDennisC
Half-elven
Feb 7 2013, 7:56pm
Post #33 of 54
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"People sang on quays and out of pants." //
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GloryBox
Bree
Feb 7 2013, 8:15pm
Post #34 of 54
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"Dol Zippor" -- love it!
...one morning long ago in the quiet of the world, when there was less noise and more green... The Hobbit
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Brethil
Half-elven
Feb 7 2013, 9:14pm
Post #35 of 54
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...but a likely candidiate! Of course it could be any of us given the opportunity so pot, kettle, etc. Samwise: There's that Crack of Doom Mr Frodo! Frodo: Yes, I see. Please Sam, pull up your pants. And a hearty thanks to Ro for this bit of fun!
...she took the point at once, but she also took the spoons.
(This post was edited by Brethil on Feb 7 2013, 9:19pm)
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Roheryn
Tol Eressea
Feb 7 2013, 9:33pm
Post #36 of 54
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LOL! Having trouble with the mental imagery of oozy pants and sandy pants, and wondering who inhabits both...
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ryouko
Lorien
Feb 7 2013, 9:39pm
Post #37 of 54
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That's the sound of slash fanfic writers tapping away on their keyboards.
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Rostron2
Gondor
Feb 7 2013, 10:16pm
Post #38 of 54
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"This movie is so full of cliched pants, it's absolutely horrid..."
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Brethil
Half-elven
Feb 7 2013, 11:06pm
Post #39 of 54
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YOU HAVE TO TYPE IT IN ALL CAPS.
...she took the point at once, but she also took the spoons.
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Oin's parasite
Rivendell
Feb 7 2013, 11:09pm
Post #40 of 54
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Bilbo: "Ever they delved deeper, down into the pants. And that is where they found it. The heart of the pants. The Arkentrousers. Thrór named them the King’s Pants. He took them as a sign, a sign that his his right to rule was divine." Bilbo: "The young dwarf prince took work where he could find it, laboring in the pants of men..." Gandalf: "Well, I’m pleased to find your remember something about me, even if it’s only my pants." Balin: “Let’s shove this in the pants, otherwise we’ll never get everyone in.” Ori: "Have they got any pants?” Saruman: "Do not speak to me of Radagast of the Brown Pants. He is a smelly fellow." Gandalf: "Well, he's pungent, I'll grant you. He lives a solitary life..." Saruman: "It's not that. It's his excessive consumption of chille!" Gloin: "What does he say? Does he offer us insult?" Gandalf: "No Master Gloin, he's offering you his pants." Gloin: "Well. In that case lead on..." Thorin:" You! What were you doing? You nearly got yourself pantsed! Did I not say that you would be a burden, that you would not survive in the wild and that you have no place amongst our pants? I've never been so wrong in all my life."
"I've got parasites as big as my arm!"
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SirDennisC
Half-elven
Feb 7 2013, 11:41pm
Post #41 of 54
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Gloin: "What does he say? Does he offer us insult?" Gandalf: "No Master Gloin, he's offering you his pants." Gloin: "Well. In that case lead on..."
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Arandiel
Grey Havens
Feb 8 2013, 8:01am
Post #42 of 54
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So, which does Thorin wash more often...
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I think you can fill in the rest of the question... Thanks, Ro!
Walk to Rivendell: There and Back Again Challenge - traveling through Middle Earth with thirteen rowdy Dwarves, one grumpy Wizard, and a beleaguered Hobbit Join us, Thursdays on Main!
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BoromirOfWinterfell
Rohan
Feb 8 2013, 12:24pm
Post #43 of 54
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These commercials are hilarious!
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My stomach hurts from laughing.
Þæs ofereode, þisses swa mæg - that has passed, so may this.
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BoromirOfWinterfell
Rohan
Feb 8 2013, 12:36pm
Post #44 of 54
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The first and second ones - absolutely brilliant!
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<Gets stomach ulcer caused by continuous bouts of laughter>
Þæs ofereode, þisses swa mæg - that has passed, so may this.
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Brethil
Half-elven
Feb 8 2013, 3:34pm
Post #45 of 54
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This was fun!
...she took the point at once, but she also took the spoons.
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Brethil
Half-elven
Feb 8 2013, 4:18pm
Post #46 of 54
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Out of evil comes great good fun!
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What if my house be troubled by a rat, And I pleased to give ten thousand silly posts To have it baned? What, are you pantsed yet? If you prick us, do we not bleed Tolkien? If you tickle us with painful puns, do we not laugh? If you poison out site, do we not refute ....with underwear?
...she took the point at once, but she also took the spoons.
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The White Wizard
The Shire
Feb 9 2013, 1:07am
Post #47 of 54
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That is absolutely hilarious! Thank you for providing a bundle of laughs to my day.
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Heatherleawv
Bree
Feb 9 2013, 10:55pm
Post #48 of 54
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have been Hillarious! I finally thought of one, Pants: An Unexpected Journey! BTW The Star Wars version of this game is very funny!
All that glitters is not gold...
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Sauron the Maia
Registered User
Feb 9 2013, 11:01pm
Post #49 of 54
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The first pants thread I participated in, around 1999, was indeed a Star Wars pants thread. Darth Vader: "I find your lack of pants disturbing."
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Heatherleawv
Bree
Feb 10 2013, 12:48am
Post #50 of 54
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Funny! Ok, how about this one I sensed your foul pants the moment you arrived on board. Here's another LOTR one, One doesn't simply walk into Mordor, it's surounded by Pants!
All that glitters is not gold...
(This post was edited by Heatherleawv on Feb 10 2013, 12:53am)
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NottaSackville
Valinor
Feb 11 2013, 12:56pm
Post #52 of 54
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I'll be wearing my Hobbit pants next Thanksgiving. //
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Happiness: money matters, but less than we think and not in the way that we think. Family is important and so are friends, while envy is toxic -- and so is excessive thinking. Beaches are optional. Trust is not. Neither is gratitude. - The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner as summarized by Lily Fairbairn. And a bit of the Hobbit reading thrown in never hurts. - NottaSackville
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NottaSackville
Valinor
Feb 11 2013, 12:59pm
Post #53 of 54
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As always, this passage was chosen at random from the book:
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Although it was not yet very cold, they tried lighting their pants at night, but they soon gave that up. It seemed to bring hundreds and hundreds of eyes all round them. Proving, as always, that nearly any line of Tolkien can be successfully pantsed. Notta
Happiness: money matters, but less than we think and not in the way that we think. Family is important and so are friends, while envy is toxic -- and so is excessive thinking. Beaches are optional. Trust is not. Neither is gratitude. - The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner as summarized by Lily Fairbairn. And a bit of the Hobbit reading thrown in never hurts. - NottaSackville
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