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JWPlatt
Grey Havens
Nov 30 2012, 6:59pm
Post #1 of 33
(620 views)
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How To Speak English In New Zealand
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Just change all your short Es to long and leave out all your Rs.
While watching The Lord of the Rings commentaries and all The Hobbit news coming out of New Zealand, I've become acutely aware that New Zealanders share a profound "speech impediment" where they cannot pronounce Rs or short Es at all. Maybe hanging upside down from the Earth is the cause?
Here's a short list of examples with ambiguities included. The actual word is spelled first, then the homophonic ambiguity:
Part pot
Pot pot
Farther father
Father father
Net neat
Neat neat
Bled bleed
Bleed bleed
network neat wok
Here hee
He he
Well wheel
Wheel wheel
Hat heat
Heat heat
Red eed
Reed eed
Hear ea
Ear ea
Best beast
Beast beast
Bet beat
Beat beat
Hobbit hobbit (ok, that one works)
(This post was edited by JWPlatt on Nov 30 2012, 7:00pm)
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Ataahua
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Nov 30 2012, 8:13pm
Post #2 of 33
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I'll link to this before anyone else does and get it out of the way: How to speak New Zild.
There is also this well-written piece with some annoying home truths. A lot of our vocal muddiness would be mitigated if we were in the habit of opening our mouths more when we speak.
Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."
"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.
Ataahua's stories
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Ataahua
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Nov 30 2012, 8:43pm
Post #4 of 33
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She's particularly good with accents.
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She has played Southern on Sweet Home Alabama, and had another distinctive accent in Coyote Ugly.
She has told a story of one time on the set of Two and a Half Men, during a break, Charlie Sheen heard her speaking in her Kiwi accent and he asked her what she was doing - "Is that an actor-y thing?" He was stunned when she said, "No, this is my normal accent." He hadn't realised she wasn't from the US.
Did I hear right that the UK nationality of the lead male actor in Homeland wasn't widely known until he spoke in his British accent while receiving a Golden Globe?
Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."
"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.
Ataahua's stories
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Kimi
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Nov 30 2012, 9:28pm
Post #5 of 33
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I saw her in "House" recently.
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It took a moment to realise where I recognised her from. :)
The Passing of Mistress Rose
My historical novels
Do we find happiness so often that we should turn it off the box when it happens to sit there?
- A Room With a View
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Starling
Half-elven
Nov 30 2012, 9:50pm
Post #6 of 33
(477 views)
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I can't be bothered opening my mouth
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any more than is absolutely necessary.
I speak normally. It's everyone else that doesn't sound right. 
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Magpie
Immortal
Nov 30 2012, 9:52pm
Post #7 of 33
(491 views)
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I don't know how widely it was known he was British but I've seen him recently on a late night talk show and they were razzing him a bit about his accent so it's certainly a point of interest.
I first saw him in the tv show Life and was just captivated by him. As I often do, I read up on him and discovered he was English then and that he's married to the actress who played Draco Malfoy's mother in the HP films!
LOTR soundtrack website ~ magpie avatar gallery
TORn History Mathom-house ~ Torn Image Posting Guide
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alienorchid
Lorien
Nov 30 2012, 11:26pm
Post #8 of 33
(510 views)
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if there is a vowel sound after it.
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Ataahua
Forum Admin
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Dec 1 2012, 12:36am
Post #9 of 33
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I wonder how similar that quirk is to the Boston accent?
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Doesn't that accent also glide over the Rs?
Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."
"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded beggar with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.
Ataahua's stories
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dernwyn
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Dec 1 2012, 3:06am
Post #10 of 33
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glosses over the internal R's, and then feeling guilty, adds one to the end of another word - unless it's already there, in which case it's ignored.
Such as: I pahked neah the hahbah and bahwt a soder.
Maybe living so close to that place is why I have little trouble understanding Kiwis! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I desired dragons with a profound desire"
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Annael
Immortal
Dec 1 2012, 4:51am
Post #11 of 33
(454 views)
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We tease my mother that she can't pronounce her own name - she says "Sarahr." But she drives a cah.
The way we imagine our lives is the way we are going to go on living our lives.
- James Hillman, Healing Fiction
* * * * * * * * * *
NARF and member of Deplorable Cultus since 1967
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zarabia
Tol Eressea
Dec 1 2012, 7:16am
Post #12 of 33
(460 views)
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A question about NZ pronunciation of Auckland
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My mom, who has visited some of her step-children in New Zealand, insists that locals pronounce Auckland like Oakland, with a long o sound. To me, it sounds more like they pronounce the au like the au in August, but with their mouths closed more. So Americans say Auckland with their mouths quite open so that the au sounds like the ahhh when the doctor looks at your tonsils But New Zealanders - and some of the posts here seem to validate my theory - also say ahh, not oh, but don't feel the need to submit to a medical exam when they do so.
What say those who know?
"The question isn't where, Constable, but when." - Inspector Spacetime
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Starling
Half-elven
Dec 1 2012, 7:25am
Post #13 of 33
(462 views)
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I can't think of any way to write it
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that will 'sound' right, if that makes sense.
All of these, barring the Australian, sound normal to me.
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zarabia
Tol Eressea
Dec 1 2012, 7:59am
Post #14 of 33
(432 views)
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But it is a bit difficult to put one's finger on, isn't it? It's sort of in between an open ah and oh...hmmm. But, yes, the Australian certainly sounds different! Now, I'm going back to listen some more 
"The question isn't where, Constable, but when." - Inspector Spacetime
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Starling
Half-elven
Dec 1 2012, 8:03am
Post #15 of 33
(454 views)
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Missed the edit window on my post
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But I was going to go back and say that I think you are on the right track with your description in your first post.
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zarabia
Tol Eressea
Dec 1 2012, 8:14am
Post #16 of 33
(439 views)
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"The question isn't where, Constable, but when." - Inspector Spacetime
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Starling
Half-elven
Dec 1 2012, 8:47am
Post #17 of 33
(476 views)
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To me it's more like 'or' than 'ah'. Bu my 'or' and your 'or' would sound different if we both said it, if you see what I mean! That's why I posted that link, because any time we try to describe sounds in our posts, we will read those sounds differently, depending on how we speak. Now I am really confusing myself!
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guitarzankansasfan
Lorien
Dec 1 2012, 11:34am
Post #18 of 33
(469 views)
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That reminds me of an episode of Full House
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Where two kids sneak onto a plane at the San Francisco airport. Before they know it, it's getting ready for takeoff, and they're stuck on the plane. So they ask a girl nearby where it's going and she replies with an accent, and it sounds like she says "Oakland".
The one stowaway kid says to the other: "Oh, that's no problem, it's right across the bay". But then the announcement comes over the PA saying: "Departing now for Auckland, New Zealand." Cue laugh track to wide-eyed kids. Then it cut to a commercial break.
I don't recall seeing the rest of the show but I'm sure they got off the plane somehow.
There was a man.
There was a lady.
There was a Dragon Lord.
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Altaira
Superuser
Dec 1 2012, 4:32pm
Post #19 of 33
(426 views)
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Once, when BG and I were checking in to fly to Auckland
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the person checking us in at the airline told us we needed to be in the line for domestic flights if we were going to Oakland. After a moment of confusion, we realized he wasn't understanding BG's accent.
Koru: Maori symbol representing a fern frond as it opens. The koru reaches towards the light, striving for perfection, encouraging new, positive beginnings.
"Life can't be all work and no TORn" -- jflower
"I take a moment to fervently hope that the camaradarie and just plain old fun I found at TORn will never end" -- LOTR_nutcase
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losille
Registered User
Dec 1 2012, 9:07pm
Post #21 of 33
(423 views)
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Nin tin dough - computer game caught my eye.
That is very close to being correct.
My son says that I am saying Nine Ten Dough. He can't talk right though he was raised in California.
I am from the southern part of the US and I have noticed that other parts of the country mispronounce words.
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Starling
Half-elven
Dec 1 2012, 10:41pm
Post #22 of 33
(399 views)
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would be an unexpected journey!
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zarabia
Tol Eressea
Dec 2 2012, 5:28am
Post #25 of 33
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I think I get what you're saying
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But I know now that I would certainly never be able to reproduce a believable kiwi accent
"The question isn't where, Constable, but when." - Inspector Spacetime
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