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Ataahua
Forum Admin
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Mar 27 2010, 8:04pm
Post #1 of 43
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Middle-earth Conspiracy Theories
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Just why did Fatty Bolger remain in Crickhollow when Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin went on their adventure?
Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."
"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded b*****d with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.
Ataahua's stories
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Smeagirl/Girllum
Gondor
Mar 27 2010, 8:59pm
Post #2 of 43
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He was addicted to the internet and worried they wouldn't find wi-fi //
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"I deemed it the worst part of all my journey, the road back, watching him day and night, making him walk before me with a halter on his neck, gagged, until he was tamed by lack of drink and food, driving him ever towards Mirkwood."
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weaver
Half-elven
Mar 27 2010, 10:39pm
Post #3 of 43
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Weaver
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NottaSackville
Valinor
Mar 27 2010, 10:47pm
Post #4 of 43
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Agreed with Boromir on the whole "walking into Mordor" thing. //
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7777777
Rivendell
Mar 27 2010, 11:51pm
Post #5 of 43
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Nobody likes to be the 5th wheel in any group.//
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"Something, something, something Darkside. Something, something, something complete."
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Captain Salt
Tol Eressea
Mar 28 2010, 12:20am
Post #6 of 43
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He was too fat to fit on the back of Farmer Maggot's wagon...
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Or, alternatively, he was so fat that the other Hobbits thought there was a strong possibility he might fall on the Nazgul and kill them.
(This post was edited by Ataahua on Mar 28 2010, 1:34am)
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TheGreatCoolEnergy
The Shire
Mar 28 2010, 4:08am
Post #8 of 43
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The Hobbits, as well as Gandalf, knew that Fatty was, well, fat. And the problem there is that people who are obese tend to over-eat. Seeing as how they had to walk across the know world, Fatty would have been very hungry, very often. Combine this with his eating disorder, and you have a party member who eats more than his fit teamates, which could easyily lead to trouble. Can you image the Hell that would be raised if Pippin woke up one night to see Fatty eating all of their provisions?
Kill 'em all, let God sort 'em out.
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Aunt Dora Baggins
Immortal
Mar 28 2010, 5:15am
Post #9 of 43
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His uncle Ray Bolger had told him too many scary stories about the Wicked Witch.//
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"For DORA BAGGINS in memory of a LONG correspondence, with love from Bilbo; on a large wastebasket. Dora was Drogo's sister, and the eldest surviving female relative of Bilbo and Frodo; she was ninety-nine, and had written reams of good advice for more than half a century."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"A Chance Meeting at Rivendell" and other stories
leleni at hotmail dot com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Penthe
Gondor
Mar 28 2010, 6:12am
Post #10 of 43
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Unlike Sam, his only ambition in life was to see hobbits//
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Now?
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grammaboodawg
Immortal
Mar 28 2010, 12:29pm
Post #12 of 43
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He's massively allergic to travel, fear and haunted trees //
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"There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West."
~Hug like a hobbit!~
I really need these new films to take me back to, and not re-introduce me to, that magical world.
TORn's Observations Lists
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Darkstone
Immortal
Mar 28 2010, 2:31pm
Post #13 of 43
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Someone had to stay behind and protect the silver spoons. /
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******************************************
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Sometime hours and hours hence:
In The Green Dragon two ales could buy
And drank the one less filling I
And that has made all the difference.
- The Ale Less Filling, by Robert Frostymug
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Darkstone
Immortal
Mar 28 2010, 3:00pm
Post #14 of 43
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The Department of Buckland Security mistakenly had him on their "No Ride" list. /
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******************************************
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Sometime hours and hours hence:
In The Green Dragon two ales could buy
And drank the one less filling I
And that has made all the difference.
- The Ale Less Filling, by Robert Frostymug
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Darkstone
Immortal
Mar 28 2010, 3:01pm
Post #15 of 43
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******************************************
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Sometime hours and hours hence:
In The Green Dragon two ales could buy
And drank the one less filling I
And that has made all the difference.
- The Ale Less Filling, by Robert Frostymug
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Patty
Immortal
Mar 28 2010, 4:30pm
Post #16 of 43
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Permanent address: Into the West
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Idril Celebrindal
Tol Eressea
Mar 28 2010, 6:12pm
Post #17 of 43
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They'd have needed four more ponies just to carry his rations! //
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With caffeine, all things are possible.
The pity of Bilbo will screw up the fate of many.
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Ataahua
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Mar 28 2010, 6:26pm
Post #18 of 43
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what I call having an attainable goal!
Celebrimbor: "Pretty rings..."
Dwarves: "Pretty rings..."
Men: "Pretty rings..."
Sauron: "Mine's better."
"Ah, how ironic, the addictive qualities of Sauron’s master weapon led to its own destruction. Which just goes to show, kids - if you want two small and noble souls to succeed on a mission of dire importance... send an evil-minded b*****d with them too." - Gandalf's Diaries, final par, by Ufthak.
Ataahua's stories
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Smeagirl/Girllum
Gondor
Mar 29 2010, 12:32am
Post #19 of 43
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"I deemed it the worst part of all my journey, the road back, watching him day and night, making him walk before me with a halter on his neck, gagged, until he was tamed by lack of drink and food, driving him ever towards Mirkwood."
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SirDennisC
Half-elven
Mar 29 2010, 3:13am
Post #20 of 43
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With Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin gone, his new odds with the ladies were too good to walk away from? /
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(This post was edited by SirDennisC on Mar 29 2010, 3:13am)
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Silverlode
Forum Admin
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Mar 29 2010, 5:31am
Post #21 of 43
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Silverlode
"Of all faces those of our familiares are the ones both most difficult to play fantastic tricks with, and most difficult really to see with fresh attention. They have become like the things which once attracted us by their glitter, or their colour, or their shape, and we laid hands on them, and then locked them in our hoard, acquired them, and acquiring ceased to look at them.
Creative fantasy, because it is mainly trying to do something else [make something new], may open your hoard and let all the locked things fly away like cage-birds. The gems all turn into flowers or flames, and you will be warned that all you had (or knew) was dangerous and potent, not really effectively chained, free and wild; no more yours than they were you." -On Fairy Stories
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Elwen
Lorien
Mar 29 2010, 4:17pm
Post #22 of 43
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He was waiting for a call from the casting agent of "The Biggest Loser."//
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My elfling's LOTR commentary: (from when she was 4)
On Arwen: That princess is sad because she wants her Daddy.
On Eowyn: That princess is sad because she wants to ride horses with all the boys. They should let her play too.
On Legolas: What is that princess' name?
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Patty
Immortal
Mar 29 2010, 4:51pm
Post #23 of 43
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He stayed home cause he hadn't called "Jenny" yet. /
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Permanent address: Into the West
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Arandiel
Grey Havens
Mar 29 2010, 5:41pm
Post #24 of 43
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Three words: Farmer Maggot's mushrooms//
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Wherever you go, there you are.
Why not Elves and Potatoes?
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Kyriel
Forum Admin
/ Moderator
Mar 31 2010, 10:22am
Post #25 of 43
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It was allergy season, and he wanted to stay indoors
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She said, sneezing.  
Those left standing will make millions writing books on the way it should have been. --Incubus
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