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The One Ring Forums: TheOneRing.net: Feedback: The latest map of Tolkenia Thread: Edit Log

Dame Ioreth
Tol Eressea

Apr 1 2014, 11:58am

Views: 5760
The latest map of Tolkenia Thread

solves a number of long-standing mysteries. It clearly notes the location of Waldo, Amelia Earhart's landing site and a number of missing senses of humor recently misplaced from the Hobbit board.

Also noted in the accompanying map legend were the sites for the Hobbit Theme Park as Disney is moving ahead with its plans to cash in... *ahem* give the fans an immersive Middle Earth Experience.
Attractions will include (others to follow as planning proceeds):
  • The Barrel Race - organizers ask that rider not pee in their wet suits
  • Out-ride the Black Riders - Reach the safety of the river and you will be allowed to live
  • Mt. Doom Tanning Salon - Feel like you're Fading? They've got what you need!
  • Shelob's Hammocks (Although construction was recently halted on this particular site due to workers going missing)
  • Tolkien Tattoo parlor - for those "real, true" fans who want the entire LOTR tattooed on their body (Construction also halted when incensed purists groups uncovered options for having Bolrog wing back tattoos and the Ring poem tattooed... well, you know...)
  • Fly Your Own Nazgul (at your peril)
  • Dwarf Pony rides - for dwarves and hobbits only
  • A psychedelic total immersion experience called I Put The Ring on my Finger. (Early tests note that fading has occurred. More tests will be required before further construction is allowed.)

Groups may sign up for special tours to be led by TORn. Only those members who concur with the latest deeply held beliefs of the Admins and Modars will be allowed on these tours. Beliefs will be posted on Sticky Notes stuck to lamp posts at the entrance to the park. Only said Admins and Modars are allowed to lead groups and post Sticky Notes via a special app that can be accessed only after repeated banging of head against desk while moderating posts that violate not only TORn Terms of Service but basic kindergarten rules of engagement.
Maps will be made available at the first Silmarillion movie premiere as part of a special promotion package that includes real fake Silmarils, Armitage wood dolls (sure to be a favorite among fans), tickets to the movie and a large popcorn with drink (Extra large available for an extra Buck-ninety-eight.)
Don't miss out - Register to win admission today!

Where there's life there's hope, and need of vittles.
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

(This post was edited by Dame Ioreth on Apr 1 2014, 11:59am)

Edit Log:
Post edited by Dame Ioreth (Tol Eressea) on Apr 1 2014, 11:59am

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