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The One Ring Forums: Tolkien Topics: Main: I know we have enough poems now for Tolkienia's monument: Edit Log

The Grey Elf
Grey Havens

Sep 1 2013, 7:40pm

Views: 403
I know we have enough poems now for Tolkienia's monument

This one is just for giggles Smile. And I actually gave it a title!

When Premonition Comes A-Calling

Here's a thing no respectable hobbit should endure
A plague of beards hungering at their home-sweet-home door
Oh so blithe they barged in
Laying siege with mayhem
Sudden calamity served for my dinner hour.

Withered plum trifle and Bree cheese, gone in a blink
Nineteen kidney pasties they washed down with malt drinks
Olives dunked in a treacle keg
Every spare crock of fish eggs
Dratted dwarves! They'd be game for trollish gobble-lings.

Just bitter dregs with nary a crust left for me
A victim am I of my own hospitality
The clover wine's now in peril
No help is an empty barrel
Imagine if they discovered my second pantry!!

Earthenware jugs sit in a row, drained and capsized
Here bitten spoons, there roughly handled iron knives
Vexing presumptuous gnomes!
Why don't they all just go home?
Then boots began to stamp and bold voices to rise....

Like a half-sized sword, I grabbed my best bread-butterer
As prized plates launched hand to hand like skeet through the parlor
Saucers and tea cups flew forth and back
In wondrous symmetry each one stacked,
At my "service," indeed, juggling both dishes and words.

Betwixt disbelief and relief, my calmness restored
As the whole roistering band quelled their brass-throated roar
Surely the worst is now behind me
Just invite my guests to de-party
Wait -- is that thunder I hear pounding my treasured door?

9.1.13 - 23

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(This post was edited by The Grey Elf on Sep 1 2013, 7:50pm)

Edit Log:
Post edited by The Grey Elf (Grey Havens) on Sep 1 2013, 7:50pm

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