Old Toby
Grey Havens
Feb 6 2013, 6:25am
Views: 4264
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And now for something completely different....
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How's this:
Tauriel has been taking archery lessons from Legolas every since she was a child and is his star pupil. Legolas is smitten with her, and she with him, but they daren't reveal their true feelings to others since he is of royal blood and she is but a common elf. Thranduil finds out about his son's longings and sends him away to scout the Wilds with Aragorn, hoping he will find a nice elf lass in Rivendell and forget about Tauriel. Since she is such a superior archer, while Legolas is absent, Thranduil makes her the Captain of the Guards, hoping she might be killed in battle one day.
When the dwarves enter Thranduil's territory, he takes them captive just out of principle; however, recognizing Thorin as the grandson of Thror, the one whom he betrayed by turning his back and his elk's backside on them when they were fleeing Erebor, he feels guilty. He reluctantly accepts the dwarves as unwanted guests, and lets them linger a while in his forest. Kili is awed by Tauriel's archery skills, and takes a few lessons from her. He finds himself admiring her in spite of the fact that she is one of 'the enemy', as his Uncle Thorin says, that she is more than a foot taller than he, and that she is a vegan.
When Uncle Thorin hears about Kili's attraction to Tauriel, he flies into a rage and goes to Thranduil to put a stop to their archery lessons. Thorin and Thranduil discover they have something in common after all: they both want to be rid of Tauriel.
Thranduil decides to send her into exile somewhere far, far away, which is just fine with Thorin, as long as it isn't anywhere near Erebor. Thranduil summons her and pronounces his judgment. She falls to her knees, weeping and begging to stay with the rest of the Woodland elves...her kin. Just at that moment Legolas returns, sees what is transpiring, and exchanges angry words with his father. It escalates into physical blows (Thorin is greatly amused by all this), but when Legolas has his father in a fierce headlock, Thranduil spits out the real reason why he doesn't want a romance between Legolas and Tauriel. Tauriel is Thranduil's illegitmate child....by a dwarf mother! Everyone is so stunned that they decide to let bygones be bygones: Thorin and Company leave the Woodland realm quickly and in peace, Legolas is reinstated as the Captain of the Guards, and Tauriel decides to leave and seek her fortune in the North by making and selling hand-crafted bows and arrows. Preferably with lots of gold inlay. And gems, if she can find them.
Um....so there you have it. What say you? 
"Age is always advancing and I'm fairly sure it's up to no good." Harry Dresden (Jim Butcher)
(This post was edited by Old Toby on Feb 6 2013, 6:26am)
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